From the recording Learn To Live Again
I have had several bouts of anxiety and post-traumatic stress over the years, mainly when I witness or experience an event that involves interpersonal violence or betrayal. As the conversations surrounding the change became louder, I began to feel a sense of dread that another cycle of post-traumatic stress was coming around once again.
Lyrics
I thought the storm was over
That everything I’d been waiting for was here,
I thought it was here, or at least drawing near
After the fires and floods
Thought we’d learned our mistakes
and that soon we’d be free,
I thought I could see what I was meant to be
One last night before we lose control
And we’re left with nothing but memories
Of how everything used to be
before all the fighting took over our minds
One more chance to live like there’s nothing to lose
It’s not just a tale from the news
So close to a state of fulfilment
You’re still meant to be my consistent persistence
Where do we go from here?
The sign up ahead looking all too clear
It’s that old heavy road and
it’s starting to drag me down
What can we do right now?
When the world’s on fire and we don’t know how
To get off that old heavy road
Is it too late to turn back around?
I feel like by now I’ve got used to it
But that doesn’t soften the blow
Keep on forgetting what I already know
I thought the map was in place
Destination on course as we followed the star
Look where we are, still it don’t seem so far
The constellations are changing
Obscured by the clouds, now they shelter the sky
And I keep passing by, how did they get so high?
One last night before our freedom is gone
Recover and capture the memories
Of how everything used to be
Before all the shouting took over our lives
One last chance to live like there’s nothing to lose
I wish I could turn off the news
So close to a state of fulfilment
You’re still meant to be my consistent persistence
I know nothing good ever comes from the 5AM phone calls
Gathering bricks, trying to build up our own walls
Stop all your blaming, stop all your crying
Let’s rebuild the tower we spent so long trying to find
Remember the joy when we found it
Surrounded by sounds of exuberance down
in the depths of our love for the things we held dear
Thought they’d carry us through when the hope disappeared
Now it feels like your only concern is suppression
Stirring things up, ‘till I’m down in depression
What started out small, a mild irritation
In just a few days has become intimidation
So let’s try to break out of this foregone conclusion
Ignore all the problems or find a solution
I’m sick of the sinking and driving around
On this old heavy road, your directions are dragging me down
Where do we go from here?